It’s always a little strange and more than a little gratifying to find out that friends and workmates are reading my blog. It also sometimes makes me wonder if I shouldn’t censor my thoughts as much as I do.
You’ll notice that there’s a lack of gossip about friends on here and ranting about work. There’s two reasons for this:
1) I enjoy my job. (Ask me again next Wednesday and I’ll have probably murdered several students and hidden their bodies around the Guild)
2) My friends don’t really do anything gossip worthy. Which is a nice thing. I used to be the one in the circle of friends who’d be “most likely to do something stupid that’s worth talking about”. But with getting older, more responsible and settling into my groove (and also stopping drinking) I’ve found that my “keraaazy” stories have dropped down to “You’ll never guess who I bumped into/pushed me down stairs” or “I listened to a lovely show on Radio 4”.
Also with the bookgroup and film group I attend I’m rapidly discovering what it’s like to have responsible adult friends. People who I just drop by and see, people who I go for quiet drinks with, attend the cinema with. (One friend, Roz, has awful taste in theatre, she really picks bad stuff to encourage me to see with her.) And there’s my responsible adult friends in London who I adore but fail to show on a regular basis so they occassionally phone me to remember what I sound like. There’s a small group of people who are stars that I chart my position in the universe by. Adrian, Mark, King David, Roz, Jenny, JK, Jojo, Chris, Kris… they’re all people who by knowing I’m able to know myself. They all function in different ways they inspire me, make me want to be a better person, make me realise I’m not shackled to my past, bring me out of myself. I’m thankful for that.
Also… I’m a rubbish friend to have. I forget to call, I forget to email, I’m horribly selfish… it must seem like I go into hibernation for a bit and then suddenly remember I’ve got things to tell them. You could call me a submarine friend..
Paul (the big bad boss- he’s a teddy bear really!), Katie (she’s leaving us) and Jojo were talking last night over drinks after a work dinner. We were talking about surprising revelations about ourselves. I tried to sound profound by saying “I’m not as brave or as rowdy as I seem and I have a phobia of phones”. It earnt me a couple of “pffft’s” from around the table. My faviourite revelation of the week was when Jojo and I were talking about things and she said “It’s like you’ve got scandal ears. You hear what everyone else hears but you also hear the underlying scandal”.
I’m not sure that’s a good thing…